Friday, April 28, 2006

Preempting the Predictable
(or, Nuance is a Bitch)

Just in case the Director of the CIA is one of many Republicans to be implicated in Whoregate (please please please), just in case Whoregate evolves into a big lurid sordid metaphor for Republican matrixes of power, sexism, hypocrisy and corruption (please please please), I want to consider what the inevitable first two words all Republican defenders will be rushing to utter.

Bill Clinton.

Can we all agree that there is a fundamental difference between accepting a freely offered bj by a powerless intern (which doesn’t make his acceptance right, btw) and accepting sex bought by powerful lobbyists for Congressmen in exchange for political favors? Political favors that affect - directly - the nation's defense? I thought we could.
(An aside: I’ve always thought that Republican pols’ primary personal grievance against Clinton was that he was offered blowjobs gratis while they weren’t; I hate to do this, but think of Denny Hastert in any phase of undress, and you can understand why they aren’t offered freebies and understand the shame and resentment pasty-piggy Repugs feel....)
The thrust of the GOP defense will be to turn all our “Clinton lied about a blowjob, Bush lied about war” against us - "You Liberals keep saying sex is no big deal; you’re hypocrites for crowing about a Republican sex scandal now." Well, I admit I’ll crow, happily, with cackling guffaws, you moral midgets, but see the above agreement. (Try not to think about Denny Hastert in any phase of undress - unless you’re a Republican - again.)

OK, to sum up: married man accepting free blowjobs from naive intern in exchange for no political favors bad. Congressmen accepting sex from high-priced prostitutes bought by lobbyists in exchange for lucrative deals with major defense contractors criminal. Easy, yes? That nuance: It's a bitch.


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