When Fag-Baiters Yawn,
When Boots Whine

It's a curious time when the President of the United States proposes a hate amendment to the Constitution and the bigots yawn. (It's also a curious time when the President of the United States earns front page plaudits in a major American newspaper for listening - got that? Listening - to opinions other than his own, but that's where we are.)

"I'm going to go and hear what he says, but we already know it is a ruse," said Joe Glover, president of the Family Policy Network, which opposes gay marriage. "We're not buying it. We're going to go and watch the dog-and-pony show, [but] it's too little, too late."

See, don't pretend to hate, don't be a half-assed hater, don't make promises to hatemongers and then yield to the sodomites and then come back and ask us to believe you're truly a hate-filled Jeebus-loving moral troglodyte this time because we don't believe you. You've got to earn it.

Earlier this week, on the Wall Street Journal op-ed page (and in other usual Maxbooted places) the brigades of cubicle warriors denounced The Decider! for giving in to the brown people of Iran by agreeing to - horrors! - the necessities of diplomacy. Armchair heroes deride The Decider! for postponing (it's surely a postponement, isn't it? isn't it? they nervously wonder) of the war in Iran that follows that successful war in Iraq.

The common thread - the Christofascist Right, the Keyboarding Right don't think the biggest asshole to ever hold the Presidency is a big enough asshole. The Decider! promised to be a paradigm-shifting asshole and he just hasn't delivered. He hasn't been the jerk and bigot and hate-merchant and tyrant, the rescuer of the embattled corporate class, the savior of the kazillions of Christers denied Christmas by atheists, that he said he would be. That's why he's at 33% in the polls: his is a failure of assholeness. (Remember Shelby Steele's infamous column, White Guilt and the Western Past: Why is America So Delicate with the Enemy of a couple weeks ago on our wimpiness in Iraq - and by extension, of course, fags and other Liberals.)

Turn up the hate. Be an asshole and mean it. Don't promise to deny certain Americans we designate as evil their civil rights and then not prosecute. Don't promise us a war and then negotiate. The irony of the Right is that they are the assholes they fear when they look at the world through their myopic Hobbesian eyes. It's no wonder the trait they admire most in a leader is assholeness.